Keeping the Intimacy during the Christmas Season

The Christmas season is magical but also notoriously busy. Between holiday parties, family commitments, shopping lists, and church events, it’s easy for couples to feel like they’re living as co-workers instead of life partners. But what if this year you decided to flip the script? Instead of letting the busyness pull you apart, use the season’s unique rhythms to draw closer together. Here are three off-the-wall ways to increase intimacy and quality time during the holidays.

1. Secretly Serve Together

One of the best ways to reconnect as a couple is to step outside your routine and focus on others together. But instead of signing up for something traditional, like serving at a soup kitchen or caroling at a nursing home, try this: secretly serve someone in need as a duo.

Here’s how it works:

• Identify a family, friend, or stranger who could use a little extra love this season.

• Come up with a way to bless them anonymously, like leaving a gift card in their mailbox, delivering groceries, or paying for their Christmas tree.

• Work together to plan and execute the “mission.”

There’s something uniquely intimate about sharing a secret, especially one born out of generosity. You’ll bond over the creativity of planning and the joy of giving without expecting recognition. Plus, you’re reflecting Christ’s example of humble, selfless love—a beautiful foundation for intimacy.

2. Adventurous Date Nights with a Twist

We all know how hard it can be to squeeze in a date night during December. So instead of the typical dinner-and-a-movie routine, embrace the Christmas chaos and make the most of it.

Pick an unconventional holiday activity, but make it competitive:

• Ugly Sweater Scavenger Hunt: Hit up thrift stores or your local mall to find the most ridiculous Christmas sweaters you can. Set a budget, split up, and see who comes back with the tackiest find.

• Christmas Light Bingo: Print out a bingo sheet with holiday-themed sights (e.g., inflatable Santa, blue lights, nativity scene, etc.), grab some hot cocoa, and drive around town checking out light displays. First one to yell “Bingo!” gets to choose dessert.

• Gingerbread Throwdown: Pick up a gingerbread house kit and see who can create the most “festive” (or hilarious) structure.

Playful competition can break the monotony and bring out the best in your partnership. It’s not about who wins; it’s about laughing together, letting your guard down, and making memories.

3. Schedule a “Silent Night” Together

The holidays can feel loud, chaotic, and overwhelming. But what if you intentionally created space for stillness—just the two of you?

Borrow the idea of a traditional Advent “Silent Night” and tweak it for your marriage:

• Set aside one evening before Christmas to unplug from phones, TV, and social media.

• Light some candles, play soft music or instrumental carols, and sit together by the tree.

• Spend time in prayer as a couple, thanking God for His blessings and asking Him to draw you closer to each other and to Him.

This intentional time of quiet intimacy can be a spiritual reset amid the holiday hustle. It’s a chance to tune out the world and tune into each other and Jesus, deepening your connection on every level.

Why It Matters

The Christmas season can either drive a wedge between couples or draw them closer together. The key is being intentional—embracing the season’s opportunities instead of letting its demands dictate your connection. Whether you’re sneaking around to serve someone, laughing until you cry over a gingerbread house disaster, or sitting quietly in the glow of the Christmas tree, these small, off-the-wall practices can lead to big shifts in your relationship.

Jesus’ birth reminds us of God’s relentless pursuit of intimacy with His people. This Christmas, let that same pursuit inspire you to draw near to your spouse, reflecting Christ’s love in creative, joyful, and meaningful ways.

So, which of these ideas will you try first? Share your experience with us, and let’s celebrate the gift of marriage.